An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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Cheese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops