How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

thumb_up thumb_down -27

COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Tommy got neutered.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops