Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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Dislike this.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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