Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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I have suicidal thoughts

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops