A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

What's the difference between a lamp?

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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