One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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