The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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