Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops