Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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woman's rights

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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womens rights

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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