Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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