A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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your social life.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You suck big fat slobber

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Hi

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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