Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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4-4-2

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops