What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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what do u call a apple a apple

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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