Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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An Artic Storm.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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why do you always see black people smoking? because your neighbors are black and they smoke on their porch,a place you can probably see from your house.

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yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Justin Beiber

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops