What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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