What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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The jets are a good team..

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Womens Rights.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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