What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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