What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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"33"

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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