Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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more chocolate?

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops