How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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Needless to say,

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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say cheese

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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