What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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