How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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