roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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