How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's 4+7 47

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops