A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Video Games

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Who graduated top of their class, got their degree two years early and lead a very successful life? Not you

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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