Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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she wasn't 18

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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poop

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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