Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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GONNA

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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alert("The Game");//

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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