Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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womens rights!

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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A bar walks into your mother.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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