Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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penis

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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Womens Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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