how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Pickle!

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Obamacare!

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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live babies

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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