When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

My sister has to take a dump

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

drugs.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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