Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

A black man killed someone

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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