What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's up? Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what happened to your carpool? they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops