A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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