How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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ewrg

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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What fires shots? A gun

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops