Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

What's the new green? Green

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

a blond makes out with ron every sunday and she stops every time to remember that she put the cheese in the wrong compartment brick house cheese is sad!

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

You all have Aids

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...