What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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haha

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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