Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

Badabing.

Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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