Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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1+1=2

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops