What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

9/11 my birthday

A woman wears a dress.

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

Fox News

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

What comes after 69? 70

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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