Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops