Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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