Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Religion

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Yee

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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