How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

Burp

why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

A man makes a sandwich.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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