What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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poop

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops