What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

squash squash who squash my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i keep getting thumbs down...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you boil oil? add b to oil

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops