Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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kesha is a virgin.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops