What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

My children are huge mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +36

im at school

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +32

ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops