Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

thumb_up thumb_down

fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

thumb_up thumb_down

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

thumb_up thumb_down

I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down

"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down

Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down

At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops