Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.